I think that is a fitting title for today's blog especially after today's most depressing news. I have kept this to myself for about two weeks now and since I finally have verification I'll break the news. But first...
I'll explain a little background. About 3 weeks ago I had a problem with my joint locking. It was a quick lock, unexpected and slightly uncomfortable. When it unlocked, it cracked. Didn't think to much of it because let's face it- this is me, and really strange things happen to me! Over the next few weeks the locking increased and the cracking increased. So I contacted the awesome Dr. Poor and told him what was going on. In the meantime while I was waiting for him to email me back I had the longest lock I've ever had-about 10 minutes and then, of course, the loudest most painful crack of all. This produced immediate swelling and I really thought the joint might have snapped. I was sent to do a CT scan yesterday to see what has been going on. Never heard anything from the doctor, until this morning...
There is bone forming around the BACKSIDE of the joint! Not on top, or in the front, but the underside and around the back of the joint! AND... He will do everything in his power to save the joint since the bone is growing in such a bad place. On top of that, I also need to have some fat sucked outta my belly (woohoo!!) to pack around the joint as a preventative. At this point I don't know if this will only be done on the left side or if the right will be given the same preventative measures. The surgery scheduler will call me today to get this set up.
I am asking for prayers of comfort for today because I am really not in a good frame of mind about this. I thought for sure everything would be done, but now I guess I get to prove how strong I am again!
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
It's Been A YEAR!!!
I can't even believe I'm writing this- It's been a year since the surgery! I still have trouble believing it's been that long. I have a whole new perspective on life (and food!) because of this experience. And as everyone knows it was both the best and worst experience of my life. This blog is short because I just have no idea how much more I can say. My emotions today are all over the place from remembering that morning and what it was like walking the long green mile to the operating room and leaving behind my husband and my parents. The journey I was facing was mine, and mine alone. I still don't have too many memories of the whole ordeal but enough to keep in my safe box and pull out if I need it. So, I guess now I just need to thank everyone who's reading this or passing it along to someone they think will benefit or those who I don't know who've emailed me questions about my experience or the procedure itself. Without you and your encouragements it would have taken me so much longer to get through this. Thank you again! Now tonight is for celebration! I'm celebrating at Texas Roadhouse with my honey- maybe we'll see you there!
Monday, June 11, 2012
I know it's been about 3 months since my last post but I felt it was important to take a few steps back and let the healing completely take over. I have to say, this was probably the smartest thing I've ever done. I have never felt so good! Praise be to God that everything has turned out the way I had imagined it to be. I have not had any of the "classic" pain symptoms that I had before the surgery, such as swelling, HEADACHES!!!, neck and shoulder pain, limited opening and pain while eating, yawning, coughing - okay, just generally being awake!
It has been 4 months since my surgery! Can you believe it? 4 months!! I have been reading over my old blogs and I can't even associate that person who was writing them to the person writing this blog now. It seems like a completely different person. I have NO pain. None. Not even a little bit, not even microscopic. None. It's funny, today I was talking with a lady during my kids' VBS and she flat out asked me what measurement my mouth was at before the surgery. I told her the doctor took a measurement right after I walked into the operating room and I measured at 8mm. Most "normal" people have a mouth measurement at 40mm. So that is a tremendous difference. 8mm is not even being able to get 1finger measurement in the mouth (Try opening your mouth and using your pointer finger as a measurement and not even being able to get that small width passed your teeth!). Jump ahead to April 1. This was my first day of Physical Therapy (or rather torture that happens 30 minutes once a week). My opening FINALLY made it to 10mm. Not bad, considering I had just gotten the wires removed. As of June 7th at PT, my meausrement (hold your breath everyone!), my measurement was 24mm and was able to be stretched to 28!!! Talk about mind blowing. All the torture, stretching, exercising that I do EVERYday got me to 24. No words can describe....
What I haven't even gotten into is the infection that I developed almost 6 weeks after the surgery. I woke up one day in March with a slight fever, an overall flu-like feeling permeating my entire body. I sucked it up and went through my day. When I was giving the little one's a bath upstairs that night I happened to be looking at the progress of the incisions in the mirror. I noticed the redness, slight puffiness and pain around the left neck incision (remember the left side bore most of the complications during surgery). I just happened to be lightly, and I stress lightly because the incisions were still painful then, squeezing around the area and it exploded with blood and pus. Totally didn't seem to concerned at first until I mentioned it to Brad and he demanded I call Dr. Poor the next morning. Well little did I know that an infection with metal hardware is one of the worst infections a person can get for fear of Biofilm forming over the plates and screws. Cue rapid heartbeat and pulse. Cue the heart palpitations, cue the panic. I was immediately ordered to get my fanny into the car and head to Oakland to see him and have cultures taken. 3 to be exact. That's a lot of pushing, squeezing and grossing out. Turns out Staph may be involved. Cue picc line (google if you don't know what that is) for the next 7 weeks!! I had an IV in my heart for 7 weeks! Ahhhhhhh!!!! Medicine twice a day for an hour each time. Cue allergic reaction to the medication 9 days after starting it, on Good Friday, on my birthday! Happy Birthday to me, we're sending you to the ER. Really? Really?? Would the torture never end? I went to Oncology once a week for seven weeks for them to assess the picc, change the bandages, flush the line,etc. After Oncology, had labs drawn to test kidney and liver function (this was actually done twice a week Mon & Thurs), after labs tortured in PT for half an hour. This went on for 7 looonnnngggg weeks. Then one day, the picc was removed, no more lab draws and I only had to go to PT once a week. Cue happy girl!
All in all, now that my surgery memory has been pretty much wiped away (thank goodness!) I have to say finally having this surgery done was the best thing that ever happened. I even got to experience Texas Roadhouse with my family (Thanks Heidi for being the one to push me to that goal!). I even had steak (with no chewing issues) for the first time in quite a few years. And boy was that heavenly. And I had no pain! How long has it been? 6 years. For the first time in 6 years I don't wake up or go to bed or sit and watch tv or eat or yawn or cough or just be with pain. Nothing. Now I know what I've been missing out on all these years.
Thank you friends for all the support over the past 4 months. I still have quite a bit of healing still to do, but that's nothing compared to what I've already done. And I honestly couldn't have done it without you.
Sherri
It has been 4 months since my surgery! Can you believe it? 4 months!! I have been reading over my old blogs and I can't even associate that person who was writing them to the person writing this blog now. It seems like a completely different person. I have NO pain. None. Not even a little bit, not even microscopic. None. It's funny, today I was talking with a lady during my kids' VBS and she flat out asked me what measurement my mouth was at before the surgery. I told her the doctor took a measurement right after I walked into the operating room and I measured at 8mm. Most "normal" people have a mouth measurement at 40mm. So that is a tremendous difference. 8mm is not even being able to get 1finger measurement in the mouth (Try opening your mouth and using your pointer finger as a measurement and not even being able to get that small width passed your teeth!). Jump ahead to April 1. This was my first day of Physical Therapy (or rather torture that happens 30 minutes once a week). My opening FINALLY made it to 10mm. Not bad, considering I had just gotten the wires removed. As of June 7th at PT, my meausrement (hold your breath everyone!), my measurement was 24mm and was able to be stretched to 28!!! Talk about mind blowing. All the torture, stretching, exercising that I do EVERYday got me to 24. No words can describe....
What I haven't even gotten into is the infection that I developed almost 6 weeks after the surgery. I woke up one day in March with a slight fever, an overall flu-like feeling permeating my entire body. I sucked it up and went through my day. When I was giving the little one's a bath upstairs that night I happened to be looking at the progress of the incisions in the mirror. I noticed the redness, slight puffiness and pain around the left neck incision (remember the left side bore most of the complications during surgery). I just happened to be lightly, and I stress lightly because the incisions were still painful then, squeezing around the area and it exploded with blood and pus. Totally didn't seem to concerned at first until I mentioned it to Brad and he demanded I call Dr. Poor the next morning. Well little did I know that an infection with metal hardware is one of the worst infections a person can get for fear of Biofilm forming over the plates and screws. Cue rapid heartbeat and pulse. Cue the heart palpitations, cue the panic. I was immediately ordered to get my fanny into the car and head to Oakland to see him and have cultures taken. 3 to be exact. That's a lot of pushing, squeezing and grossing out. Turns out Staph may be involved. Cue picc line (google if you don't know what that is) for the next 7 weeks!! I had an IV in my heart for 7 weeks! Ahhhhhhh!!!! Medicine twice a day for an hour each time. Cue allergic reaction to the medication 9 days after starting it, on Good Friday, on my birthday! Happy Birthday to me, we're sending you to the ER. Really? Really?? Would the torture never end? I went to Oncology once a week for seven weeks for them to assess the picc, change the bandages, flush the line,etc. After Oncology, had labs drawn to test kidney and liver function (this was actually done twice a week Mon & Thurs), after labs tortured in PT for half an hour. This went on for 7 looonnnngggg weeks. Then one day, the picc was removed, no more lab draws and I only had to go to PT once a week. Cue happy girl!
All in all, now that my surgery memory has been pretty much wiped away (thank goodness!) I have to say finally having this surgery done was the best thing that ever happened. I even got to experience Texas Roadhouse with my family (Thanks Heidi for being the one to push me to that goal!). I even had steak (with no chewing issues) for the first time in quite a few years. And boy was that heavenly. And I had no pain! How long has it been? 6 years. For the first time in 6 years I don't wake up or go to bed or sit and watch tv or eat or yawn or cough or just be with pain. Nothing. Now I know what I've been missing out on all these years.
Thank you friends for all the support over the past 4 months. I still have quite a bit of healing still to do, but that's nothing compared to what I've already done. And I honestly couldn't have done it without you.
Sherri
Monday, March 5, 2012
Pictures
I don't have any pictures from today but I do have pics from the surgery and some from home that I assume either my mom or Brad took. Please forgive the doped look on some of these pictures, especially the ones that someone took at home, but that's what I was, doped!
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| In recovery with my oxygen |
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| Up close and personal |
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| Up for the first time to use the restroom |
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| The resident came in to change the bandages |
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| The bloody left side and all its complications |
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| Right side wasn't bad |
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| Brad took this - as he was gagging! |
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| Finally home! |
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| The day the bandages came off |
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| Doped and swollen |
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| A very upclose look at all the problems the left side had |
On The Road...
Three weeks ago at approximately this time (8:10), I woke up from an 8 hour surgery. It seems impossible to me how three weeks have already come and gone - but I guess when you sleep 22/7 life keeps going and passes you by. In three weeks I have gone from operating room, recovery room, hospital room, home, bed... to surviving my first day on my own with the kids. Granted I'm already dressed and in bed, but the point is I did it. I think the semi-solid foods I've been eating have helped give me a little more energy. And... I've gained back a half pound from the seven I've lost.
As of this Thursday the 8th I will be Arch Bar free. We are supposed to be in Oakland by 8:30 for the removal process - which according to my doctor we "grin and bear it". Yeah, that didn't work so well last time so we'll see how it goes. Good thing the hospital is right across the street! But, Praise the Lord those horrible bars will be gone and I can sleep through the night without the wax slipping and the hooks digging into my lips, cheeks, etc.
Unfortunately I still have no movement of the left side of my face and my eye still doesn't blink on its own, but I've been told once the swelling finally decides to visit someone else I should get those back. (The left side was the side that had all the complications during surgery. It is also the side that hurts the most and it feels like the screws are too tight when I try to do my opening exercises). The no blinking thing really does affect me especially when I'm out in the sun. My eye waters immensely making my vision blurry - especially while driving. I sleep with a sleep mask to keep my eye closed, and wear sunglasses in the sun but it's just not the same as being able to blink on your own. The things people take for granted! I've also noticed over the past few days that my skin is starting to peel, especially my chubby little cheeks. I'm hoping the peeling means the swelling is starting to go down but I can't tell a difference. The good news though, is that I am on the road to recovery, it's only a matter of getting there!
As of this Thursday the 8th I will be Arch Bar free. We are supposed to be in Oakland by 8:30 for the removal process - which according to my doctor we "grin and bear it". Yeah, that didn't work so well last time so we'll see how it goes. Good thing the hospital is right across the street! But, Praise the Lord those horrible bars will be gone and I can sleep through the night without the wax slipping and the hooks digging into my lips, cheeks, etc.
Unfortunately I still have no movement of the left side of my face and my eye still doesn't blink on its own, but I've been told once the swelling finally decides to visit someone else I should get those back. (The left side was the side that had all the complications during surgery. It is also the side that hurts the most and it feels like the screws are too tight when I try to do my opening exercises). The no blinking thing really does affect me especially when I'm out in the sun. My eye waters immensely making my vision blurry - especially while driving. I sleep with a sleep mask to keep my eye closed, and wear sunglasses in the sun but it's just not the same as being able to blink on your own. The things people take for granted! I've also noticed over the past few days that my skin is starting to peel, especially my chubby little cheeks. I'm hoping the peeling means the swelling is starting to go down but I can't tell a difference. The good news though, is that I am on the road to recovery, it's only a matter of getting there!
Friday, February 24, 2012
The Past Few Weeks
Well, it's been almost two weeks since the surgery. While the doctors and nurses I've seen at my post-op appointments have been numerous in their praises on how well I look and how well I'm doing- I don't feel anywhere near like I'm doing good or looking well. Let's face it - I feel like crap. Crap that's been run over a few hundred times. I spend about 20 hours (if not longer) sleeping, having someone wake me up every 4 hours to gag down the 2 most vile medications on the planet, given something to drink, and off to lala land I go. That describes roughly the last 11 days. With the occasional shower (granted to me by my doctor 8 long days after the surgery).
This has definitely been the worst experience of my life. It has been painful, tiring, and down right miserable. I would not recommend it to anyone. For those who have gone through it and survived (because, right now it feels like a toss up to me), I commend you. You have made it through hell and back! Congrats! While my doctor is sympathetic to the misery, he does say I will still be miserable for another few weeks. Talk about squashing the small inkling of hope that this torture would only go on for another few days. So, as I sit here sipping my tea and being grateful that I can eat some oatmeal in the morning, I am needing words of encouragement that months down the road this will all be worth it. This has all happened for a reason and when this has passed I may know what that reason was. I don't feel very strong, yet God doesn't give you more than you can handle. I think in my case, this was more than everyone bargained for. Let the misery continue!
This has definitely been the worst experience of my life. It has been painful, tiring, and down right miserable. I would not recommend it to anyone. For those who have gone through it and survived (because, right now it feels like a toss up to me), I commend you. You have made it through hell and back! Congrats! While my doctor is sympathetic to the misery, he does say I will still be miserable for another few weeks. Talk about squashing the small inkling of hope that this torture would only go on for another few days. So, as I sit here sipping my tea and being grateful that I can eat some oatmeal in the morning, I am needing words of encouragement that months down the road this will all be worth it. This has all happened for a reason and when this has passed I may know what that reason was. I don't feel very strong, yet God doesn't give you more than you can handle. I think in my case, this was more than everyone bargained for. Let the misery continue!
Friday, February 17, 2012
The Pain in the Head
Bi-lateral temporalmandibular replacement occured on Monday, February 13th. I was scheduled to go in to the hospital at 7:30 am. We arrived at the correct time but were given the news that the operating room would not be ready at the 9:00 time and was pushed off until 11. At 11:15 I was taken back, asked another million questions and promptly knocked out. Surgery lasted 8 hours. I awoke close to 9:00 pm still in recovery with my husband and parents by my side. It took another 3 hours to get a room.
I could never explain to someone the excruiating amount of pain I have been in. I have no muscle movement of my entire left side. My eye doesn't blink, the forehead doesn't move, and my lips are so swollen, I can hardly drink. I have been wired shut which is completely scraping away the inside of my lips. Everything is swollen. I don't resemble myself at all and I look hideous. Brad says I only look a little worse than my previous pictures but I think he needs to wear his glasses when he looks at me. I have lost 7 pounds since Monday. An extreme amount of weight in such a short time.
I don't do much. Sleep is mostly what I've been doing. My mom is being a great medicine nazi. No pain meds unless I have a little something in my stomach. Bleh! Everything makes me gag. The antibiotics and pain meds are liquid and the taste is horrendous, yet 4 times a day one or both of them are given to me. I hurt so much it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's there, just out of reach for the moment.
The kids are afraid to look at me. I don't blame them. There's nothing like a real-life horror movie to look at. Here are a few pics from recovery. Please be advised I do not look anywhere near my best.
I could never explain to someone the excruiating amount of pain I have been in. I have no muscle movement of my entire left side. My eye doesn't blink, the forehead doesn't move, and my lips are so swollen, I can hardly drink. I have been wired shut which is completely scraping away the inside of my lips. Everything is swollen. I don't resemble myself at all and I look hideous. Brad says I only look a little worse than my previous pictures but I think he needs to wear his glasses when he looks at me. I have lost 7 pounds since Monday. An extreme amount of weight in such a short time.
I don't do much. Sleep is mostly what I've been doing. My mom is being a great medicine nazi. No pain meds unless I have a little something in my stomach. Bleh! Everything makes me gag. The antibiotics and pain meds are liquid and the taste is horrendous, yet 4 times a day one or both of them are given to me. I hurt so much it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's there, just out of reach for the moment.
The kids are afraid to look at me. I don't blame them. There's nothing like a real-life horror movie to look at. Here are a few pics from recovery. Please be advised I do not look anywhere near my best.
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| Still in recovery |
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| Still in recovery |
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| Today - Friday, Feb. 17 |
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| Changing bandages in the room |
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| The left side was the most complicated |
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